Time To Be Grateful!

Time To Be Grateful!

This week I was invited to visit one of the most famous cancer hospitals in London, and as I was walking round the wards my personal experience came flooding back to me. It was also the hospital where my late mum had her breast cancer treatment more than twenty years ago, so it was emotionally demanding. As always I found myself reflecting on the day once I had got home. I remember vividly visiting my mum all those years ago and how ill she was at the time, but she survived for more than twenty years until her heart gave up. She did incredibly well because all that time ago the treatment was a lot different to how it is now, they did a wonderful job for her. That was when she referred to the Big C on her diagnosis. This was an expression that was frequently used back then and was felt to be a death sentence. It was then very difficult to not revisit my own treatment, and the horrific experiences and emotions that I had been through. All the evidence was pointing to an early demise despite all the heavy duty treatment, and with so many drugs inside me I didn’t know what was going to happen next. My goodness, I had gone from a very strong independent man to a physically weak one relying on help to get out of bed. Even now I can’t believe I have made it this far!

Sure, I have lost a lot along the way, and physically I am probably half the man I was, in most ways, but I am alive and playing as best a part as I can in society. time for gatitude 1In the really early days I was bitter, and spent a lot of my time asking myself “what if?” My business would have been bigger, I would have earned more money and could support my children and grandchildren more financially than I am currently able to. But we get by ok now, we have learned to live differently and have very different values. We don’t miss out on much and if I’m honest I quite enjoy the challenges of this work, and if goodwill was cash I would be a multi millionaire! Of course we need money to get by but at my stage in life there is very little I actually require. So to step off the ever turning wheel of buying bigger and better things because you can, is actually quite a relief, as nature forced me to change my life’s direction.

Complaining about what you have lost is not a very productive process and although everyone has a certain sympathy, life is moving on for me and everyone else. One of my favourite sayings in life is “If life gives you lemons, make lemonade!” So I am now making lemonade. When I started this work I was just one voice amongst millions, sharing their cancer experience. Since the progress in social media and a more openness around cancer there are many more doing it. But now I am contacted daily by people wanting to now how my work is so well known. I tell everyone that there is no secret, just hard work and persistence in the face of opposition. This work is now seven years old, and people who are just starting expect to be seeing immediate results.

What I started doing was just a hobby to keep me focussed, but now has turned into a lot more, particularly with the launch of my charity and new partnership with C4CMobile.Time to show gratitude Life is starting to speed up again now with so much exciting stuff on the horizon, both here and across the world. Meeting many senior people and being valued in the cancer community is great, but now, there is starting to be a media focus as our partnership grows. Winning awards and meeting many famous people has been the icing on the cake, and when I look at my own diary even I can’t believe some of the things I get invited to. Watching my boys careers flourish and my grandchildren grow up are things I never thought I would see and am absolutely thrilled to be around for that. At one stage my 52nd birthday was an ambition and in a month or so I will be 60!

Believe it or not I still get frustrated at the things I can’t do both physically and in my working life, but I take that as a good sign, that my head is getting back to normal, whatever that is. My trip to the hospital was a great wake up call for me, as although I never chose to be on this path it is fulfilling me as a human being. If it wasn’t for a young mans act of kindness by donating his stem-cells then I wouldn’t be alive today. That act has left me with an overwhelming desire to ‘pay it forward,’ and now my life is mostly about giving. The rewards don’t always come in cash terms but they always come! Not necessarily immediately, and generally your ‘return’ is bigger than your ‘investment.’

So it is time for me to be grateful! No my life didn’t go to plan in recent years but nor have many of my friends either and not for health reasons! It really does seem that life is not a plan but it just happens, so lets all try and find something to be grateful for, it really isn’t that difficult!

As always, above are my thoughts and experiences, please feel free to share yours below.

 

The Grove Hotel Bournmouth

I am an official support partner of the Grove Hotel in Bournemouth. The only hotel in the UK specifically for people affected by cancer and other life limiting conditions. 

 

10 Comments
  1. Chris,

    Great post. Stephie and I were just talking about the need for gratitude and for making the most of what you have. Stephie (@KindredBelle) had a heart transplant as a result of childhood cancer; I’ve recently had a hip replacement as a result of my 7 year cancer journey (minor compared to a heart transplant!) Needless to say, both our lives and expectations of the future have changed.

    I think there is a fundamental decision be made. Do you look backwards, or do you choose to be here now? It’s a topic of our Blab today, along with Stephie’s award winning documentary. Join us if you can. bit.ly/1RxiDr5 You are a great example and inspiration of making lemonade out of lemons!

    Be well. Carpe diem!

    Pat

    • Hi Pat,

      Both you and Stephie are perfect examples of what I am talking about. You know that I understand perfectly about changing expectations and probably like you ladies it has taken a long time to accept my situation.

      The past is what has made us the people we have become today. There are many adversities we all face, not only health ones, and I guess each one teaches us something. I will definitely catch up with Stephie’s documentary.

      I think by now all of us are good at making lemonade! 🙂

      Carpe Diem to you both xx

  2. Thank you Chris for latest blog. As always on the same vein as myself and many others who have conquered the big X as your Mum calls it. I did not think I would be here today to be able to go back to Spain again but it’s up to each one of us to work with Drs and Nurses to reach that end goal. Much love to you and family contact you when we get back xxx Don’t forget you promised me an invite for your 60th xx

    • Thank you so much for your comments as always Georgine. I knew you would understand! Much love to you both too, and I haven’t forgotten about my 60th. We will in fact be on a cruise but we will celebrate when we get back xxxx

  3. Wishing you countless smiles Chris!

    • Tu Farwah, smiling back! 🙂 Hope all going well with you, and much appreciate ur support. xx

  4. Chris – what an honest and positive post. Cancer comes uninvited into our lives and causes stress, hardship and suffering. I admire how you have dealt with this unwelcome intrusion and how it has changed your life. It certainly makes you realise what is important in life. Every so often it is so invaluable to reflect on gratitude to make you realise life is great and money whilst important is not the main driver for living a rich and meaningful life. It’s about having enough and realising that. The memories we create are about spending time with family and friends. You are an inspiration and I always enjoy your posts but haven’t been courageous enough to comment before, but this post really had made an impression. I didn’t think I would make my 53rd Birthday and I am 59 in 2 months – and what a privilege it has been to have had these last 6 years and long may it last.

  5. Hi Bryan, thanks so much for your comments and am so pleased that you felt that you wanted to leave a comment. That is one of the many benefits I have found from communicating through the site. People can contribute or not, depending on how they feel. Your own story is also inspiring and in many ways we have a lot in common it seems.

    Cancer is life changing that is for sure, but like you, I was determined to make something positive happen, not for me but for others. However possibly like you, I also get a lot of joy from sharing experiences and knowing that I can help improve lives for some people.

    As you know this site is set up to enable us to share experiences and learn from each other, and I have learned so much from this Community. Thanks so much for sharing your own experiences Bryan and I wish you good health for the future!

  6. Your experience is truly touching. What an inspiration to many of us undergoing the same.

    • Thank you so much Mark. I was frightened when starting my cancer experience, and couldn’t find this type of support around at the time. I decided to do something about that, and a lot of lovely stuff has happened since, both for myself and others.

      So pleased that me experiences can help others which was the intention of this site.

      My very best to you Mark.

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